Obituary for Richard A. Henderson
Richard “Dick” Henderson told his last, wildly inappropriate joke on Friday, April 21st, 2023, at the age of 86. In the presence of his son Shawn Henderson, he harassed his hospice nurses with inappropriate jokes and witty comments until his peaceful passing. Faced with another Biden Trump election, Richard thought leaving this world would be a better alternative.
Richard was born on April 16th, 1937, to Myrtle and Chris Henderson in Covington KY. At no point in his upbringing did anyone decide to tell Richard the family struggled. With an unwavering sense of optimism, and a personality bigger than most pick-up trucks he went thru the world having a great time. Its rumored some of those great times were “over-the-top,” but we have failed to independently verify that.
Richard’s employment history was standard. He started his career as a musician playing the bongo drums for the Mission Impossible theme song. Realizing he was a white guy with no rhythm, he switched industries to a “bomb tester” for the U.S. Government. The bureaucracy was worse than explosions and he settled on a career at General Motors for 33 years, where he worked less than half of that.
Richard had two basic philosophies in life. First, “Nothing is so serious it can’t be laughed at,” and two “Keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.” It is rumored he consumed more donuts weekly than the average American household did yearly.
Richard left behind a lot of things his son has no idea what to do with like 1 extremely large TV from 2003, 104 pairs of suspenders, 3 dozen ice-cream scoops, and several unopened salad spinners. If you’re looking for items like this, you should wait the appropriate amount of time to get in touch with Shawn. Tomorrow should be fine.
In addition to physical things, Richard leaves behind many more sentiments. A world-renowned lack of patience, a direct in your face way of speaking, and a sense of humor that would “get you a free pass to visit HR!” Sadly, most of his jokes can’t be repeated.
Richard was a master cook in the kitchen. He made a world-famous chili, that only his family and friends have ever tried. If anyone knows the secret recipe – please contact the family directly. They would like to sell it to Wendy’s and would be willing to split some of the profits.
Cremation will take place in accordance with his wishes, and at the convivence of his family – they have plans that are hard to move. His ashes will be spread at his favorite places in New-England. The remaining ashes will be kept at Shawn’s home, as long as they match the décor.
As many have been asking, I’m happy to share that Richard was ultimately found NOT guilty of all charges for his participation in a peaceful but political protest in Washington DC, on January 6th. (P.S. Richard wrote this joke 😊)
Per Richard’s final wish there will be no services. In lieu of flowers and donations, Shawn simply asks that you admire his bulldog Julius, grab a drink, and tell a funny story that Richard shared or made up after a night of over-serving himself.
Cheers!
Richard was born on April 16th, 1937, to Myrtle and Chris Henderson in Covington KY. At no point in his upbringing did anyone decide to tell Richard the family struggled. With an unwavering sense of optimism, and a personality bigger than most pick-up trucks he went thru the world having a great time. Its rumored some of those great times were “over-the-top,” but we have failed to independently verify that.
Richard’s employment history was standard. He started his career as a musician playing the bongo drums for the Mission Impossible theme song. Realizing he was a white guy with no rhythm, he switched industries to a “bomb tester” for the U.S. Government. The bureaucracy was worse than explosions and he settled on a career at General Motors for 33 years, where he worked less than half of that.
Richard had two basic philosophies in life. First, “Nothing is so serious it can’t be laughed at,” and two “Keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.” It is rumored he consumed more donuts weekly than the average American household did yearly.
Richard left behind a lot of things his son has no idea what to do with like 1 extremely large TV from 2003, 104 pairs of suspenders, 3 dozen ice-cream scoops, and several unopened salad spinners. If you’re looking for items like this, you should wait the appropriate amount of time to get in touch with Shawn. Tomorrow should be fine.
In addition to physical things, Richard leaves behind many more sentiments. A world-renowned lack of patience, a direct in your face way of speaking, and a sense of humor that would “get you a free pass to visit HR!” Sadly, most of his jokes can’t be repeated.
Richard was a master cook in the kitchen. He made a world-famous chili, that only his family and friends have ever tried. If anyone knows the secret recipe – please contact the family directly. They would like to sell it to Wendy’s and would be willing to split some of the profits.
Cremation will take place in accordance with his wishes, and at the convivence of his family – they have plans that are hard to move. His ashes will be spread at his favorite places in New-England. The remaining ashes will be kept at Shawn’s home, as long as they match the décor.
As many have been asking, I’m happy to share that Richard was ultimately found NOT guilty of all charges for his participation in a peaceful but political protest in Washington DC, on January 6th. (P.S. Richard wrote this joke 😊)
Per Richard’s final wish there will be no services. In lieu of flowers and donations, Shawn simply asks that you admire his bulldog Julius, grab a drink, and tell a funny story that Richard shared or made up after a night of over-serving himself.
Cheers!